DATING A 40 YEAR OLD AT 17The multi-phase, descriptive study will collect information about state laws, federal guidance to programs, and grantees and local offices practices. The findings will help HHS to determine if additional guidance is needed. This report is a compilation of state laws and reporting requirements. It provides an overview of state statutory rape laws and reporting requirements, as well as a summary of laws for each state and the District of Columbia. This report is not intended to be a legal document. It is designed to provide useful information to state and federal policymakers who are interested in how state statutes address statutory rape.
I think men have an easy time picking up younger women. Younger women, in my experience, want to learn everything that a more mature man can teach them. In the teens, a single year makes a big difference in terms of maturity. You've gone through the experiences of living on your own, finding work, and supporting yourself financially and emotionally.
A year-old still has Mommy and Daddy's support to fall back on if anything should go wrong.
You're well beyond that point-- do you want to have to sneak your girlfriend out of her parent's house to stay out late? Want to take her to get drunk with your friends? You're at different stages of life; its not to say that you can't love her or share an emotional bond, but I think it will be a fragile bond due to the difference in maturity and the barriers created by the law and social norms.
She's probably enamored with you because you have so much more experience than her, which I entirely understand. But at some point, you'll want someone who understands your experiences and can teach you a thing or two.
Its easy for older guys to pick up younger women-- but I'm not sure if they satisfy our needs. I mean it - do not EVER let yourself be in any situation where the two of you are alone - without witnesses - in a social setting. For her protection, and for yours.
No matter how honorable your intentions or hersthere may be other people who may try to turn any opportunity into a chance to "get" you. Whatever you do together, do it in public - go to the zoo, concerts, parks, etc. In your case 0. Sorry, looks like you have to wait till you're 23 and she's Yeah, I know it's not a real rule but it does have a certain intuitive appeal. B On the other hand if you can keep it non-nude for a couple of years, then that's ok too ; posted by singingfish at AM on December 26, Chiming in, blackout, you are displaying unusual wisdom by leaving this opportunity on the table for a few years.
There is really no upside to having this relationship at this point. Arizona society has issued its opinion on the issue, wrong or not.
You can fight City Hall on this concept, and maybe win, but it still means a fight. Fights are costly and since the 'other guy' is much bigger, your chances are slim to none in prevailing. Its wiser to avoid a fight. What's truly remarkable about Mr. Blackout, is that you are doing it in advance! This will come in handy over the next few decades. Congratulations on making a good choice and taking care of both of you. The "dad is a cop" angle is delightful.
Are you freaking serious? Wisdom in music yes, I know you plan to keep it non-physical : When true love knocked on my door, she'd just barely turned sixteen; And I was a little bit nervous, if you know just what I mean. But I heard somewhere that true love conquers all, and figured that was that, then I started havin' dreams 'bout bein' chased out of town wearin' nothing but my cowboy hat.
I said, "No deal We did not actually have sex, though it was very difficult. In the end, despite that she was very mature for fifteen, the age difference wound up being a problem. That little voice saying it doesn't seem right? Listen to it. Not too many people seem to comprehend the idea that she might actually want to have sex with you. This is a distinct possibility that complicates things further. Shame about the law, but there it is. Walk away.
He was probably 19 or This was a few years back, so I don't remember exact age. But, he got consent from the parents and started dating this chick. A month down the road, he pissed the girl off, which in turn pissed off the parents and they took it to the cops. They warned him to stay away, but how could he? He already spent a month dating this chick like every day and he wanted to work things out. And you know she probably only stayed upset for like a day or two, while the parents never forgot.
So while trying to work things out picking her up from school, taking her out more, etc he somehow ended up in prison for few years. True story. I guess the moral of the story is that parents can change their mind about consent while you too are deeply in love.
Run away right now. Especially with this discussion here, now, in the public record. When I was 15 I briefly dated a guy about your age.
There were upsides and downsides but ultimately it didn't work out. I couldn't go to bars with him which was a pain. His friends' girlfriends were older and thought I was too young and weren't particilarly nice about it. He wanted to have sex and I didn't want to. In my world this was normal and in his world it totally wasn't. When I stayed out late with him it was, again, normal for him and really not normal for me. In fact, my Mom flipped out once when I came home at 3 am and threatened to have him arrested for statutory.
That fight has created a rift between us to this day my Mom and I.
In the end, we broke up because I didn't want to have sex with him. In looking back at it, he was somewhat immature and generally into dating high school girls, which seemed cool to me, a high school girl, at the time, but now I'm sort of like "what was he thinking?
If it were me, I'd wait and see what college brings her, assuming she'll ber more independent from her family, out on her own etc. On the off chance that she's the one for you, she'll still be there. Do you remember the old saying, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? You do? Ok, good, my work here is done for those of you who are late to the game. Thanks Mr. Congreve posted by bilabial at AM on December 26, I know a guy who is in jail for multiple years for a consensual relationship with an underage girl she was You don't want nothin' to do with this.
Be nice, but be clear that she is too young for you to date. Recommend she date some young men nearer her own age. Even without the "jailbait" angle, this guy could murder you or get a cop buddy to do it and get away with it.
You could be shot while "resisting arrest" or something; not too long ago a cop in my city shot a guy in the back as he was running away "because he feared for his life".
I say date her. Try to stay out of jail. This means having a little sexual discipline, but it isn't like you can't touch each other. Try to take it very slow. She's really young and naive and her parents are divorced so she'll have some issues. Respect that. Meet the parents. This is always essential when dating.
They'll have reservations. Be open and honest with yours. Having a cop in the family is always good.
Dating a 16 year old and being 21
What a bunch of whiners on this thread. Like age gaps never worked out in relationships. Check out the divorce rate.
Being the same age never helped anyone. I agree with almost all others. Wait until she is 18 to start dating her. If you fall in love for 'er and 'er and get married, it'll be a romantic story. I would run run run run from any grown man who dated a high school girl. Sorry, there should be a sentence between sentence 2 and 3: Wait until she is 18 to start dating her. If you don't, there are two things that will happen- you'll stay together until you die, or you'll break up. If you fall in love A friend of mine, at the age of 22 or so, started dating a year-old.
He learned the valuable lesson that if you actually have to look up statutory rape laws in your area to make sure your relationship is legal, you really shouldn't be in that relationship. A good friend of mine discovered a beautiful girl who wanted a relationship with him He didn't let it happen They've been married over 30 years now and have raised 3 great kids.
I recommend waiting. Wait it out, be a family friend or what not till then. I tried that with some one older than me once. Turned out, I was in love and he just wanted to bang me. It is good to get perspective on intentions for all parties.
Let's keep this simple.
Your question was, is it okay socially and legally for you date this girl? The answer is no, and no. We're done here. Just a recap of what I said before I don't intend, now, to go after some sort of relationship with her. One thing I don't understand is why love keeps coming up. I don't know about you guys but I can't fall in love with someone after a month a month of not dating even.
I've only been in one relationship before this, it lasted five years and I'm not totally sure I was in love with her, as I have nothing to compare it too. FauxScot thank you for the kind words. I do somewhat pride myself on my logical more then emotional outlook on life, and thinking things through is just something I do it's just the way I am. Sadly I often over think things, and that as well has caused problems with past and possible relationships.
I'd stay away - someone that age has so much growing to do still emotionally, and being so young, at some point she'll want to see other people - just leading to heart break. Just adding to the chorus Seriously don't do it. Even if for some really bizarre reason her parents are fine with it, that means they're fine with it now.
That doesn't mean they'll still be fine with it tomorrow or after a few weeks or after a few months. Take that thought even further, if they decide to press charges admittingly far-featched but still very possible, dad's a cop yo. You're a 21 year old man going after a 16 year old girl. Right or wrong, you have no defense.
Should a 21 year old be dating a 16 year old?
Seriously, don't do it. Statutory rape laws are stupid and vary from state to state. What matters greatly is the circumstances, mainly whether her parent s are likely to have you busted and declared a Sex Offender or not.
By the way, does it strike anybody else as stupid that consensual relations with a young woman who's legal in the next state can ruin someone's life, and that a lot of employers etc. Admittedly this sounds less likely than ruining your life by making sure you become a Registered Sex Offender, but still.
My advice is don't do it because it's "wrong" it isn't or because it's illegal so's potbut don't do it because her father is a cop.
If you do insist on being involved with her then make sure you always drive the speed limit, never drink and drive, never possess any illegal substances, try to follow the letter of every law you can think of, and let her win every argument she thinks is important. You'd basically be mortgaging your manhood and your sanity for fear she really will "Tell Daddy on you.
I am I've been dating a 21 year old for months (without getting Anyway, you are young, and being a girl you perhaps believe what he says. So, you are telling few strangers on the internet about a friend who is in this situation and trying to find out if it is legal for a 21 year old to date a. This report is not intended to be a legal document. D, 16, 16, --, 18 Thus, sexual relations between two year-olds would be illegal, as would relations be legal, while the same relationship between a year-old and a year old would not. . Form Approved OMB# Exp. Date 9/30/
I was a "mature for my age" and year-old too. Like jessamyn, I very briefly dated a year-old with whom I broke up because I didn't want to have sex. I also dated a really, really nice guy who put the brakes on due to my age and always behaved appropriately.
I remember him fondly, but while it seemed like a big deal at the time, I really just went out with him a couple of times right before I left for college. Looking back, echoing brittanie, I was more flattered by the attention than really interested. I would say that your position depends mostly on the character and disposition of the people who could pose a threat to your relationship.
As for the age difference being a problem between just you and her, I don't think it would be fair to you or her to not give the relationship a chance based on that. You'll never know if it's a deal-breaker or not unless you let the relationship run it's course. This applies to any conflict that comes up in the early parts of a relationship.
I was 16 when I started by relationship with my fiance, who was In my state, the age of consent is 16, although I was 17 by the time we had intercourse.Are They Too Old/Young for You???
I'm 17 right now, but will be 18 when I'm married So far my parents have taken my fiance very well, they both like him a lot and are confident he's doing his best to treat me well.
His parents seem to be afraid that their son is taking advantage of a young, impressionable sixteen year old The first man I fell in love with I kept a secret the entirety of our relationship.
I was 14 when it began and he was ten years older. There were many things wrong with our relationship, but I don't feel like the age difference was one of them.
Right now, I'm watching my girlfriends who are older than me make the same mistakes I did then. That's a terrible plan. Sixteen-year-old girls can appear very mature - especially when you want them to - but they're still kids. I'm a girl. I developed early.
Adult males made sexual advances toward me when I still very much felt like a child, and it was scary. In retrospect, I'm sure that some of those guys were deluding themselves into thinking that I was "very mature for my age", which made it okay, I guess? Even if this kid is giving you the impression that she a wants you and b knows what it is to want an adult male, the second cannot be true.
So then try to 16 year old daughter has been dating the other party. Several of age for an experience they can still a year-old guy to sexual contact, they can I remember feeling weird for a teacher, 18 year old daughter has asked me?. Hello, I'm 16 years old and I've been dating my 21 yr old boyfriend for almost a .. to be a mature adult - and I know a LOT of 16 year olds because I teach high. my mate 19 is "being innapropriate" a chick thats 14 now thats wrong because .. No, 21 year olds only go out with 16 year olds if they can't pull a 21 year old.
She's a kid. Don't do it. There are incredibly large portions of the population who believe that rape cases should be considered "guilty until proven innocent" and many of them will even tell you that in those exact words.
Statutory Rape: A Guide to State Laws and Reporting Requirements
Sex here does not involve kissing, or touching if there is no penetration. For more information about these laws please see our South Australia page on indecent assault. Also, there are special laws applying to sex that is filmed, photographed or distributed online or by phone, for more information about these laws, please see our South Australia page on sexting.
Generally you cannot have sex with another person who is under 17 years old. However, if you are aged 16 years old you can legally have sex with another person who is also 16 years old if you both agree to have sex. There is one exception to this. If you are aged 16 and agree to have sex with someone aged 17 or over, the person you had sex with will not be breaking the law if they believed you were aged 17 or older.
When you are 17 years or older, you can have sex with another person aged 17 or older if you both agree to it. However, you cannot have sex with someone who is caring for you, supervising you or has authority over you, like a teacher, sports coach, youth worker, counsellor, foster carer, religious instructor, health professional, police officer or employer whilst you are aged under No matter how old you are, it is never ok to have sex with someone without their consent.
If you, or anyone you know, has been sexually abused, the experience and impact of that will be different for everyone, but whatever your reaction, it is a normal response to an extreme situation.
You are not to blame. If someone is found guilty of breaking the laws around age of consent, they can be charged with a serious criminal offence, sent to jail and placed on a public child sex offender registry.
The public child sex offender registry is a list of adults who have been found guilty of a sex crime against children. Registered sex offenders are required to keep the police informed about their personal details and whereabouts.
They are also required to report the names and ages of children with whom they live or have regular contact. Registered sex offenders are not allowed to work in any child-related employment. Deciding to have sex with someone is a big step. Remember that the decision is up to you. The other person must respect your choice.
If they try to have sex with you without your agreement, they are committing a crime. If you are thinking about having sex, please be aware of the risks that are involved with unsafe or unprotected sex.
Is it okay (socially and legally) for a 21 year old guy (me) to date a 16 I could tell right away that she liked me, and to be honest I thought she. This is me, I went out with a 16 year old lad when I was 20, some people are . on at 16 says to me she's either very mature OR she's not being straight with you . It is never okay for a person to have sex with another person who is under 16 years old. Only if you are aged 16 can you legally have sex with.
These risks include:. You can check out these helpful resources for more information on age of consent:. If you have a legal question, and you are aged 24 or under, you can contact us here. If you have a problem or a question, you can send it to us today and we can provide you with free advice, information and referrals to help solve your problem.